You are everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ll ever need. Looking into your eyes, I can see the very best of me. I’ve never loved anything more, never felt love like I feel for you. I found my future and my everything the day that I found you.
- JG
Sometimes rainbows do shine…
Posted by jenniegosset
So, without any “rain”, we were hit with a nice “rainbow” last week. Let’s just say I was given something I have been without for years, in a lump sum, and it couldn’t have come at a better time! Trevor and I jumped for joy when we realized our slump was now fading in the rear view. We were able to pay everything off that was nagging us, we got the ball rolling on several issues that were a black cloud over my head, and we were able to spoil our kids whom we love so so much. It’s just hard to do frivolous spending when we live on one income and have 3 kids under this roof, and 2 under another. But last week, we were able to, and it felt great!
On Friday night, we went into Best Buy to buy 2 new phones, as Trevor’s screen was smashed and was literally being held together by the screen protector. And mine, while it still worked, was now out of warranty and frequently sketched out on me. So iPhone 4S, here we come! We had the WORST experience there, with the most insanely inept and RUDE and total knowledgeless MANAGER we have ever dealt with. After almost 2 hours, he had insulted me about 5 times, almost got yelled at close to 10 times, gave us orders 4 times, gave us false information 12 times, had a customer reprimand us 1 time, and at the end of it sent me out of the store without checking if my phone even turned on. Long story short, my phone was broken, so we took them back the next night (after Trevor spoke to the store manager that day). When we got there, the managers we dealt with were SO NICE! It was really nice to have people that polite to deal with after the shit we had the night before. They gave us our money back, reversed our transaction so we still had use of our hardware upgrade through our wireless carrier, and then gave us a gift card for our troubles (I explained our experience with the “manager” the night before and they seemed appalled, yet somehow familiar, with his ineptitude) By the end of the night, the manager gave us a great deal on a Boxee Box, so we were happy. We would have been completely 100% happy with just getting our money back, and expected nothing when we walked in there, so this was a nice surprise.
The next day we took Trevor’s kids to West Ed and walked through the mall for HOURS. You don’t realize how hard it is to find size 11-12 shoes in that place! Lots of 13 and 11.. however, those won’t fit his sons insanely large foot. We eventually found some he liked, and took his little guy to Build-A-Bear to get him a new stuffy. All in all, a good day.
We were able to get our phones from Apple, which is the ONLY place I will go for my Apple products from now on. Dealing with middle men is only frustrating and a waste of time.
We got my kids a few new books, shirts and movies. And our baby got some little stuff. Other than our phones, though, all we “spoiled” ourselves with was new underwear. Haha. Gotta have nice threads on your butt, after all ;) Trevor also bought me my engagement ring that he promised me in December when he proposed. I have had a beautiful birth stone ring on since then, but he called that my “interim” ring until he could afford the one he really wanted to get me. And now it is firmly, and FOREVER, on my finger. Oh yeah, and we got some new Rachael Ray pots and pans for super cheap, because someone put the wrong price tag on them at walmart, and the department supervisor gave them to us for the lesser price. Not too shabby! Of course, the day after they put the Cat Cora pots and pans on sale, which are the ones I really wanted, but.. what are you gonna do?
We were able to save enough to pay for our ENTIRE move in July, which was an enormous weight off of me! It is so nice to know that when the time comes, the trucks are booked (did that yesterday) and will be already paid for. So, no budgeting! YAY! We can walk in, pay for them, and just go. Now all we need to do is find people to help us actually load the trucks.. At this point, with the friends we have in this area (another reason we are making an exit) we will probably have to hire movers. But whatever gets us out of here sooner, all the better, and worth it. I can use the money that would have otherwise gone to pay for the trucks, and pay people to move our crap. I like it! Trevor’s back is super messed up and I will have 3 kids underfoot, so we can’t do it ourselves.
All in all, it has been a nice week. I am TERRIFIED that this was our “last hooray” before all hell breaks loose.. but I’ve been told to just appreciate what we have now, and deal with what comes. I am a huge pessimist though, which is hard to shut off. While I am completely grateful for what we just got blessed with, I still have that nagging voice telling me to bear down and get ready for a lot of hell. I guess we will see what happens. I just hope that this was just a rainbow… with absolutely NO RAIN. Lord knows, we have had more than we will ever need.
Judge not, lest you be a douche…
Posted by jenniegosset
As I said in my last post, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. And this is true of many cases. You can never really TRULY tell what is happening in a persons head, because unless they tell you the whole truth, there will always be something that is kept hidden. Your very own treasure box, of sorts. I guess all you can do is hope that they aren’t keeping the bad stuff hidden from you, because one day that will just blow up. I’m just saying…
The point I am trying to make is, you can easily jump to conclusions. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they could not be more wrong. Take for instance my situation. I truly loathe talking about this stuff, as it tends to give me a tummy ache, but for the sake of airing some dirty “laundry” I will bite my lip and just plow through it. I don’t need my lips to type, anyways ;)
Today, my fiance and I (and our baby, Rian) took his kids to the mall. They are both from a previous relationship, and lets be honest, his ex doesn’t like me (for reasons I am sure you can guess, and reasons I don’t feel it necessary to say on here). I have always got the feeling that his kids don’t like me (again, for reasons I am sure you can guess). I am like the “step mom” and it is more likely for kids to not like their step parents.. that’s just the way life goes.
I have only seen his oldest son three times before today.. no, maybe it was only two. Either way, it’s not a lot for a nearly 2 year relationship. His youngest, we get all the time.. so he is really no big deal. But I still always get the impression that I am painted as the one who ruined everything by “stealing their dad”. It isn’t true, it could not be more wrong, it is a complete lie. I know the truth, as do any people who actually care enough to care.. but it’s still a tricky situation.
However, today was great! We took them to a pile of stores, in a hunt for shoes for the oldest - he has size 13 feet and very picky taste.. so it was a feat! (pun intended) And we went to Apple, and took the youngest to Build-A-Bear, where I am the one who actually helped him pick his stuffy and name it :) Then we had lunch with them and took them home. It was good. Never felt tense or uncomfortable.
It is just so easy for me to beat myself up. I know I didn’t ruin anything, but the guilt over the idea of it will always haunt me. I just want Trevor to be happy. End of story. And he seems to be rather happy with me. I just hope that his kids are able to distinguish the difference…
So… moral to the story… people “judged” me and my relationship… but it is all wrong. We love eachother DEEPLY and there is ZERO homewrecking in our past. I “judged” his kids, and worried they would immediately hate me. They don’t appear to… which is great. That’s not saying I won’t get any “I hate you”s, but I’m a parent, that comes with the territory.
So, leave the judging to Judy, and get on with your life.
This is amazing!!
Skagen is the northernmost point of Denmark, where the Baltic and North Seas meet. The two opposing tides in this place can not merge because they have different densities.
Don’t judge a book…
Posted by jenniegosset
You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Sometimes you can tell how much it is going to cost, but for the most part, the inside of the book remains a mystery; full of twists and turns and stuff you didn’t expect.
The same can go for humans. Take me for instance. Now, I don’t like talking about my weight, AT ALL, but in this case, I, begrudgingly, will.
I have been on all spectrums of the weight scale.. up, down, very high, and very low. I have a wicked metabolism, and have always been fit. But my weight has gone every which direction, without any help of mine. You see, my thyroid is broken, which catapulted my slight frame into the bounds of enormous weightiness. It is heartbreaking, I can assure you.
But with a lot of perseverance, and a LOT of work (and a necessary prescription) I was able to get back down to a normal weight (for my height). But don’t think for ONE SECOND that I didn’t feel all the pain of being a “fat girl” or see looks, or know what people thought, or felt how bad it was to have to buy, what felt like, tents compared to my old clothes. It hurts, trust me.
However, under all those many many layers of fat, I was still the same girl. Same mind, same sense of humor, same values, same morals, same heart. But it seems that when you are shrouded in tubbiness, people tend to forget about all the stuff underneath. This is not true for all people, but the world, in general, is filled with very vein and shallow people. Those people will never see your smile, your eyes, or your heart if it is covered in a large layer of fat.
Sure, I may have become a bit sadder, but other than that, everything else was the same. Same novel, different cover.
I am, once again, struggling with the same problem. My baby, who is so amazing and I love with everything, caused another fluctuation in my thyroid and I gained back a bunch of my previously dumped weight. Sucks, yes. But, again, I am working on it.
So if people are going to judge you - and they WILL!- just give them something worth while to judge you on. Whatever your cover may look like, keep your novel the same. Be a good, kind, thoughtful, generous, loving person, and work on the outside if you so desire. Because no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, if your novel is ugly, it won’t matter.
This is me, at my largest… pretty gross if you ask me, but still the same girl under all that mess.
This is me, a year later, halfway through the weight loss. I smiled much more here than I had before.
And here I am, a year after that… 5lbs away from my goal weight, and so happy it was insane! Same novel, different cover… so like I said, you should never judge a book by it’s cover. It’s what’s inside that truly counts. So be the best novel you can be.
Not “gourmet”, but “hands on”…
Posted by jenniegosset
I posted yesterday about all of my “shortcomings” as a mother. I put that in ” marks because some would argue that they are, some would argue that they are NOT. I, however, am still somewhat on the fence. I want to do all of those “amazing mom” things, but at the same time, I’d rather keep my sanity.. and I’m fairly certain I’d lose it if I was always trying to be perfect, as opposed to hoping one day I might be half perfect.
And all of this made me ponder, further, the battle of the food. Meals in my house are nothing short of insanity, and utter frustration. My kids, bless their souls, are frustrating as hell when it comes to dinner. If it were up to them, they would survive on tacos, pizza, burgers, fries and macaroni. I, however, have a slight problem with this. They need more of a variety, and a lot less grease. They are growing kids.. vitamins and minerals, and NUTRITION, are soooo important. I know this, most intelligent people know this, however it seems to slip past some people (and you know who you are) So my fiance and I are always trying new foods for them. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
For this, Pinterest has been helpful (for making me feel inadequate, however, I hate thee) We have tried quite a few different recipes from there.. with LOTS more on the backburner to try at a later date (a lot of them will have to wait until I am done my diet.. which sucks, because I literally drool when I think about putting those delicious treats into my mouth! but a little less drool is a drop on the scale.. ha!) We made chocolate dipped pretzels for their classmates on Valentines Day. We have tried the Smores Squares, which we all devoured. We tried the mint chocolate chip chocolate cookies, which were a giant hit until the week after when BOTH of my children decided they no longer like mint (ugh). We tried the Meatloaf Muffins, which were a HUGE hit, with both the boys and Trevor (his favorite new dish) We have tried a different way to cook pork chops, and they liked it (as long as there is NO pepper). So in a way, it is working nicely as we introduce new foods.
Cut to side dishes… My children refuse to eat any form of potato, unless it is in a french fry shape. Jesse will eat mashed potatoes, until Zack bitches about how gross they are, and then Jesse monkey’s up. They will not eat mashed, baked, fried, hashbrown, etc. REFUSAL.. They won’t eat any form of bean. They will not eat rice if it has mushrooms in it. They will not eat anything if there is onion in it. I offered to make them fried rice with chicken and vegetables, and they cheered!!.. until they learned that there was beans in it. Then they both refused and asked for macaroni. Don’t get me wrong, I will make them macaroni and alphagetti and nuggets with fries, and “Pinterest Moms of the Year” be damned! I’m not killing them slowly with those “additives” nor is pre-packaged cake mix a recipe for cancer. I’ve been eating that shit all my life, and while I may seem to be a bit nuts to those who truly know me, I am just as healthy as all those “raw/vegan/organic only” nutter butters (I am 98% vegan, so this is not a bash to those people in specific) But it would just be nice to sit down to a dinner.. stew, potroast, chicken and mashed potatoes, lasagna with a variety of veggies in it, and NOT HAVE THEM BITCH! I mean seriously, it is getting to be a bit much.
And as I said, it is not just meals.. it has spread to desserts and beverages, too! One week they like mint, next they don’t. They won’t eat peanut butter, but love peanut butter cookies. Won’t eat marshmallows, but liked the Smores Squares we made. Won’t drink orange juice one week, refuse apple the next. Will eat snap peas out of the bag, but won’t eat them cooked. Will eat raw peppers, but not cooked. Will eat pork chops, but not sausage. Will eat those stupid smiley face potato things, but not tater tots. Will eat french fries, but not hashbrowns. Will eat banana bread, but not bananas.. and then the next week, won’t eat the banana bread, either.
All of this drives me BAT SHIT CRAZY! It is such a battle to get them to eat.. and I am feeling really frustrated. I don’t want to have the picky ass eaters.. Zack will only eat butter and cheese sandwiches at school. Jesse will only eat cheese whiz sandwiches. It really does get to be a tad annoying at times.. they like what they like, and I get it. But how will they EVER learn to enjoy new food if the adamantly refuse to try it?
And as I said, I see posts and blogs and whatnot about these self-proclaimed “super moms” who’s kids will eat anything and do it with a spinach filled smile on their little faces. That’s all fine and dandy, and congratulations to you for getting a kid who will do that… but I feel I may have something up on these “masters of the kitchen”.
Though I may not be Better Crocker (or even a far distant relative) I am the mom who makes really awesome cookies, knows what my kids will and will not eat on a daily basis (as it does change like the frigging tide) and can go in the backyard and play with them for hours. I can’t make a bunt cake, but I taught them to ride their bikes without freaking out. I can’t make souffle, but I taught them to golf, and bought them their first real clubs. I don’t make huge roast beef dinners with all the fixings, but I taught them how to play baseball. I don’t cut their sandwiches into little shapes, but I taught them how to play soccer. I don’t own an apron, but I taught them how to play hockey, and watch it with them. I don’t spend hours in the kitchen preparing food, but I taught them how to read (and they both read above their grade levels!). I don’t provide a new fancy dessert after dinner every night, but I have 2 little TOTALLY healthy boys who would literally take a piece of yellow pepper over a cookie every day of the week. And I don’t insist on making the EXACT same meals every week because I know they will eat it, because I insist on making them try new things so their lives are just a little bit more full.
So I may not be “gourmet” or “kitchen brilliant” but I am very “hands on” and I think my kids are pretty great (picky-ass food choices not withstanding!) The baby, however, I am going to start on early.. he will have all of my other kids great attributes, but damned if he won’t eat everything we make for him!
Inadequate? or human…?
Posted by jenniegosset
Sometimes I sit and think about my life, and the life of my children.. and how they are interjecting. I wonder about my fiance and how our life is together. I wonder about myself and consider if I am doing all I can.
I want to be a great mom.. always patient, lots of things to teach, fun to be around, etc. You know, the typical checklist of all parents.
I want to be a great fiance.. make sure he knows how much I love him, and avoid all the pitfalls from both of our previous relationships.. and I so badly want do it right this time, I am attempting to be everything I think he needs/wants.
I want to be a good person.. kind, thoughtful, good friend, etc.. everything everyone (with a heart and conscience anyways) would want to be, and be remembered and thought as.
I sit and pour over other peoples posts/blogs/pinterest/etc and it sometimes makes me feel COMPLETELY inadequate. I don’t make gourmet meals, or cut my kids sandwiches into cool shapes.. I don’t plan fun excursions every weekend I have my boys, nor have I really taken them anywhere far from our home before.. I don’t make my fiance’s lunch every day he works.. all of this adds up to me feeling like a failure, of sorts. I see people talk about how much they get done, what they do, what they’ve done, what they’re doing, where they’ve been, and it sometimes hurts. I hear my fiance talk about his past and all they did, and I can’t help but compare it to us, and how that isn’t how we are at all.
Then I think about myself. I went through a lot over the last few years. I lost people, I was a single mother, I had 2 jobs just to pay what needed to be paid, I’ve moved, had another baby, gotten engaged to someone I actually want to spend my life with (emphasis on the want) And that will sometimes snap me out of my failure-funk.
My kids are amazing. They are healthy. They are happy. And as far as their teachers are concerned, are completely brilliant and wonderful students. My fiance always tells me how happy he is, so I must be doing something right.
My house is always clean. My kids are incredibly helpful. I don’t need to make gourmet meals, because they probably wouldn’t eat them anyways. I don’t need to make insane cookies/squares/cupcakes because they love what I make. I don’t need to take them on lots of trips, because they are so stoked just to go to the park or library after school (not saying I don’t plan on trips!).
I guess I am not a failure. Because blogs can be only highlights of your world, and you can edit out the shit. People don’t tend to parade around and talk about how horrid they are at something, they will mostly only highlight the good stuff. So I shouldn’t take that stuff so personally.
It’s still hard, though. I want to be the wife/mother that gets the “wow’s” and “good for you’s” but I should learn to be okay without them. Because we have a LOT here that lots of people don’t have.. Still, a little bit of “perfection” wouldn’t be so bad.
Stop taking credit for my genius…
Posted by jenniegosset
It would seem that all of my life, someone, somewhere, was taking credit for my brain juice. And I’ve had it!
I’m sure it started before this, but I really started paying attention in grade 9.. I came to school a few days later than everyone else, because I was in California. But I had my hair chopped off before I left on my trip, and no one had seen it. I came to school, hair almost 8 inches shorter.. and wouldn’t you know, a few weeks later, like 6 other girls had the SAME HAIRCUT! They say “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” but I say fuck that.. get your own ideas!
Later that year, there was a tragedy in the school. And it was brought to my attention that the person who passed had written a really sweet poem. And that poem was printed in his funeral pamphlet thingy. Very sweet. Unfortunately, I WROTE IT! He was in the same poetry class as me, and must have copied it. Because it was my poem, word for word. But how do you confront a dead person??
Spring ahead a LOT of years, and now I find myself being poached of all of my good ideas, AGAIN! And wouldn’t you know it, they are being put to use before I get the chance to use them. I get my kids interested in the Oilers, and bang, someone steals that idea. I get them into certain books, bang, gone. Clothes, bang, gone. Games, bang, gone. Lego party, bang, gone. And the most recent is stealing the movies I bought them for Easter, and put a lot of thought into, and then giving the same movies to them a week later. Hi.. that grey mush in your head? Yeah, that’s YOUR brain! Attempt to figure out how to use it, before I ram a poker up your nose and put it completely out of commission.
Yes I sound pissy.. because I am pissed! I don’t try to play myself off as “super mom” by any stretch… I just listen to my kids, pay attention to them, KNOW them, and then do things that I know they would appreciate. If you don’t have the attention span/desire/ability to do the same, that is not my fault. Figure it out, and stay out of my brain!
Was she a friend at all??
Posted by jenniegosset
Interesting conundrum.. I have pondered this several times over the last month. But don’t get me wrong, never once did it consume, or even slightly bother, me. It is just always interesting to consider friendships. Two random souls colliding, and choosing to stay together. I guess that is more like falling in love (as it is on accident usually.. and sometimes even hurts, like a collision would) So I need a new analogy… hmm… I’m gonna be lame and just say two random people who clicked, and continued clicking.
I am not one of those people who use FB as a popularity contest. I am only “friends” with people on there who I actually know and want to share my information, and life, with. Some person I met once while on vacation, or know through someone else, I don’t count them. If you don’t truly know them, why are you “friends” with them?? Seriously, shit on FB gets personal.. why would you want a practical stranger learning all about you. CREEPY! But this isn’t the point.. If I am friends with you, it is for a reason. I would rather have a few very close friends, who I can fall on when I can’t stand anymore, than a pile of fairweather “friends” who aren’t really friends at all. If you can feel comfortable calling or texting someone at 2am, and know they will respond to you without any aggravation, THAT is a friend. Someone you rarely speak to, or doesn’t know your kids names, or if you have siblings, that is NOT a friend.
I guess I always knew, some way, that this person (lets call her Frank) wasn’t a true friend. Had I felt that she was, I would not have kept so very much hidden, and private, from her. That should have been my first hint that it was all a facade. We have been friends for years and years. Distance came, but then we “reunited” through FB (didn’t everyone!?) and got “close” again. Frank told me for years to leave my husband, because I was clearly unhappy, and life was too short to sit around and wait for it to get better. I always knew she was right.. and eventually I did. (not because she told me to, but because I knew it was time..) We texted lots, went on a few little road trips, hung out when we could, had stupid inside jokes, etc. You know, the typical “acquaintance/friend” friendship stuff. Nothing ever got really deep.. nor did it ever feel really close. But when you’re in the muck, you don’t see the crap, right?
A couple years ago, Frank called me to tell me that I was a QUOTE ME ON THIS “homewrecking bitch” and she “couldn’t believe I could be such a horrible person”. Because she chose to believe gossip that was flooding through our “network” as opposed to just coming out and asking me the truth. Finally, after months of being pissed off that I could come under attack by a friend like that, she “apologized” and we “moved on”. I am putting everything in quotations, because I never felt like it was an apology, nor did I ever really forgive and move on. It’s a bit unforgivable to treat a friend that way, especially when the gossip you heard was from someone you don’t even know! But anyways.. time goes by, and I think everything is fine.
Sometimes life is hard. Especially when you are under the amount of stress I am. I deal with stuff on a daily basis that most people won’t even deal with over the span of their life. And I’m doing it all at once. So sometimes I need to vent.. and lash out. But seriously, I am anything BUT negative! The fact that I can smile is amazing.. but I don’t let it bug me. And when it breaks through and does, I usually use sarcasm as a coping mechanism. Such as the day I called my ex an “ass rocket”. I thought it was funny! It’s like calling someone explosive shit. And that highly amused me. However, I was imminently informed that I was being a bitch. Okay, point taken. The next time I “lashed out” I said I was “sick of people who parade around like they are the most important people on earth, without taking anyone else into consideration” Pretty general statement, and something that EVERYONE can relate to. Or so I thought…
That was it. That was, apparently, the straw that broke the camels back. Frank deleted me on FB, texted me, and told me I was too negative to be friends with anymore.
Evidently, I am not allowed to be vulnerable, or show dislike in the hell my life sometimes resembles. It’s not my fault. I am only human. People have bad days. Fucking sue me.
So here I am. One friend shorter than I started the year with, and yet somehow, I don’t feel a loss. That should tell me something. But all this has done is open up a little joke for me.. but don’t listen to me.. I’m a negative homewrecking bitch, remember?
Right….. *scoffs and rolls eyes to the point of seeing brain*
Oh well! C’est la vie… good riddance… au revoir.. and all that other crap.
Hello.. sleep??
Posted by jenniegosset
Sleep has always eluded me in some way. For many MANY years, I had wicked bad insomnia (starting when I was only 13..) It got the point where I had to take sleeping pills.. those had some wonky side effects.. but I’ll get back to that in a bit.
I like sleep. I want to sleep. But alas, it just doesn’t appear to be in the cards for me. It has always been a tricky thing for me.. my Loch Ness Monster, if you will. I am sure it is out there, I’ve heard others have found it, but I can not.
I can’t have people touch me in my sleep. I can’t have light in the room (even the light from an alarm clock would keep me awake). I can’t sleep if the tv is on. I can’t sleep without a fan blowing on me. The list goes on and on. It’s ridiculous. And if it wasn’t me, I would say “suck it up”… but it is me. And I can’t suck anything to make it go away. (wow, that sounded dirty!)
Before my fiancee, I slept like crap. I would take sleeping pills just to have a few hours of shut eye, so I could remain a somewhat functioning member of society. So with the help of these little blue pills (and a boatload of Rockstar and NOS) I was able to function. However (and here we are, back at the wonky side effects) they made me INSANELY honest! An hour after I took my pill, if I was still awake, or woken up, I would say EVERYTHING that was in my head. No holds barred. It was unsettling. And much to my boyfriends joy, he would text or call me after I’d taken them.. especially on the days that I seemed distant. And bam, I’d tell him everything. Best part? No recollection of it the next day. I have read texts that I don’t remember sending.. been regaled with many hour long conversations.. no memory. So clearly, those pills had to go. I don’t like sharing my feelings, or telling people what is going on in my head. Bye Bye little blue pills.
Since moving in with my fiancee (the boyfriend who took advantage of my narcotic induced honesty) I sleep better. I can actually sleep with him… touching me or not. I can have a few lights on in the room now (just the laptop and the humidifier) and sleeping pills are no longer necessary. Ah bliss :)
Enter the baby. Aaaaaand, we are back to crappy sleeps. He’s cute though, so I don’t mind. He started sleeping through the night around Christmas, so he was about 2 months old. But having a baby, sleeping soundly or not, is still not restful. Because you are up to check on them, make sure they are covered, breathing, bla bla. So I’ve been fairly exhausted since November.. longer if you count him kicking me in my sleep, or having the hiccups so violently that it woke me up. Ah, babies. Wonderful little creatures.
Now he has begun to roll over in his sleep.. Which is all fine and dandy.. he can lift his head, so I’m not worried. It is the incessant screaming which comes when he finds himself on his belly and unable to roll back to his back. Thanks Rian! This is a fun new game!!
Oh well, it is only temporary. But for now, I guess we are back to Rockstar and NOS. At least they are tasty :)
just trying to make sense of it all...
